Decisions, Decisions, Decisions

Tears stream down my face. No reason…no idea why. Too many people I want to be able to help. To be there for…and yet…I fall short every time. Every day…every day I need to be there and I am not. Every time I think of my little sister…and the many ways she is ALWAYS there for everyone, just like my Mom had been.

I always wanted to have a home where people could come and know they were welcome and safe. I had a vision of that place and even shared it with others. I had a few times when others came and it seemed as though my hearts desire was starting to be realized. And then, it wasn’t.  Veer from the path, even an inch and you fall in the pit a mile away.

What I always wanted and truly tried to make a reality in my life has been realized in so many other people…just not me. Just not me.  Sometimes it just makes me shake my head. I remember sharing hopes and dreams with friends…and the next thing I know, they are doing what I always wanted to do…working for a vet. Having a small farm with the animals I would have wanted – and making it work. Working with a dentist as an assistant. Opening their home to take care of others that really need the help, love and comfort that only can be given by someone who truly loves you. In some ways I see my life lived in others that I love…and in others I feel a tinge of jealousy because I always wanted to achieve what they have. Not so much a destructive jealousy…more of a lost dream being realized in someone else.

Living alone, I felt like people didn’t want to come visit me, at first, because my home was “not in the best part of town.” Then it was because they didn’t know where to park even though the one time anyone came they really thought the place was wonderful. Then it was a matter of too small an apartment with very little parking – then a nice apartment but still…an apartment…so there ya go. I didn’t have a nice home out in the suburbs where they could feel “safe” or comfortable…and hey, it’s easier for Kim to come see me.

Now I live with a friend…at least we have someone who will miss us if we don’t come home after work. Still…I miss what I very rarely ever had…people who WANT to be with me.

Someone who WANTS to be with me…where have I heard that before. Hmmm…

God, created man to be His family. God wanted children. No where else in the creation story do you see where God created any other creature and made it in His Image and likeness. His image and likeness. So, not only did Adam and Eve ACTUALLY LOOK like God, but they were able to act like Him too.  He came and walked with them daily.  He came down to be with them and talk to them. Can you imagine the joy He got out of hearing Adam name the animals?  How about when He introduced Eve to Adam? For anyone who has been ANYWHERE with a child and heard their exuberance about their BIG finds (that to you it’s just a dandelion) they just HAVE to show you! Think about the Creator walking with His children and seeing His creation through their eyes. How much joy…how much love…what peace. As much as God (our Father) loves music, He did create it by the way, He loves the sound of His children laughing, admiring His handiwork, giving words of encouragement to someone in need. A hand on the shoulder of someone who just needs to feel the touch of someone who cares. A shoulder to cry on. A simple hug in the time of need.

God created Adam and Eve to be eternal beings. They were never supposed to die. They had the LIFE of God on the inside of them and God created the container of His life to be able to handle ALL that His life involved. Think of it…now don’t get me wrong…God did NOT create Adam and Eve (and us in them) to be little gods. But He did create us to be able to do WHATEVER He wanted us to do and/or whatever They/we wanted to do. He gave them/us free will. Unlike any other creature that God made, God gave man Free Will. God wanted to KNOW if man would choose to come into His family…or if he would turn away to his own destruction. Guess we all know where THAT is going don’t we?

God mentions 2 trees in the Bible…but if you read in Genesis…He only tells Adam that he can not eat from only 1 of them. The tree of Life was never out of bounds for them. Adam and Eve were immortal creatures so it was no big deal for them to eat of it.

Have you ever read any scripture about what God looks like?

In every one of those verses – God is a light. A light so bright it would blind you to look at it. And yet, Adam and Eve walked DAILY with Him and were not affected by this light. Ever wondered why? Have you ever been around a welder when they are welding? They were very heavy helmets with extremely dark glass so that they can see what they are welding but the light from the welder doesn’t affect their eyes. Looking too long at a welders arc will cause extreme damage to your eyes to the point of blindness. God’s light is brighter than that and it doesn’t shut down. Ever.

So, why? Why were they not affected then?  It’s really rather simple. They were made in the IMAGE and LIKENESS of God. They were light too. Have you ever tried to look at a spotlight at a theatre? If you I guaranty you saw dark spots before your eyes for at least a little while because that bright of a light AGAIN damages your eyes if you are not careful around it. IF you tried looking at the spotlight…were you able to see the actual shape of the bulb or just be dazzled from the light? Being dazzled isn’t so bad. Talk about a real head turner. “Whoa Father! did you see that?! there is someone JUST LIKE US here!!!” “That’s right Adam…what would you like to call her…she is your mate.”

Now that’s a vision isn’t it? Talk about a match made in heaven.  Well…not really…it was made on earth…um actually made OF earth.

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