Wow, insomnia…who would have thought. So much on my mind. I’m not in pain and the thoughts are a jumble.
One of the many things I have learned through the years I have walked on this earth is: Don’t hold onto anything too tightly. Do not count on yourself, even, to be your everything because you will fail yourself often and sometimes even with remorse. Other people come and go either for a short season or for reason…and sometimes they come to stay. Well, stay is also relative. We all have an expiration date…we just don’t necessarily know when that expiration date will be met. Love each one as much as you can. Give what you need to give and receive what you need to receive so that when the time to say good-bye comes – you will be ready.
Call a loved one on the phone just to say “Hi, I was thinking about you.” Or write a letter or text…send a card just to lift someone’s spirit a bit. Go see them and give them a hug. Small things yes…but so much larger than life at the right time. When we seek God’s face our timing will be impeccable.
For God so loved the world, us…people! That He gave His ONLY BEGOTTEN Son so that WHOSOEVER – that doesn’t mean only the good, tidy, neat little packages who are “perfect” in every way – that means EVERYONE…the good, the bad and the ugly, can come. God in all HIS GLORY in heaven didn’t want just beings that were created to worship Him…he wanted someone who WANTED to worship and FELLOWSHIP with Him of his own will and decision. God wanted sons and daughters who would choose to become HIS children…on purpose and with forethought. He doesn’t want a long list of “DO’S and DON’TS” He is not a fan of religion. WHAT?! It’s true…religion smothers the life out of relationship. There is freedom in relationship if it is healthy. In a good and true relationship, you can be totally yourself with each other.
Have you ever noticed, when you spend time with other people, you begin to be more like each other. I have found being around certain people that many times things that I say a lot start being said by others – and I know that other people rub off on me as well. It is what we do. When we spend a lot of time with our friends we all start becoming more and more like each other. Well, I know that the more time I spend alone with my heavenly Father…the more like Him I become. And alas…when I choose to walk farther away than I ever intended from His face…the more like the world I become. I am on my journey back to closeness with my Creator…my Father…my BEST Friend, who never forsook me and is always near when I need shelter in a storm to hold me close and let me sob and cry into His chest in the wee hours of the morning.
Lord, YOU know the path I must take. Though I walked away…your arms are open wide to take me back. I have picked up so much junk in my life I know I need to be purged of the dead stuff so that like a newly pruned fruit tree I can look beautiful in Your sight and produce the fruit of YOUR Life. I trust You Lord to take me there again and deeper still into Your presence.